From 2011

I am many things and also nothing in my opinion. There are surely thousands of ways that I could describe myself but finding the correct collection of words is slightly more difficult. I would like to see myself as a creator. Not at all in the biblical sense of creating life and not even in the sense of creating new things like the word means. I would call myself a creator simply because I enjoy turning something basically mundane, such as a sheet of metal, and fashioning it into something where it can be appreciated better. You must agree that a painting is more valuable than a collection of paint and brushes.

Alas there is another side to creating and that would be ruining. The collection of paints and brushes would be more valuable than the painting in the case that they had been used to scribble wastefully over the canvas. But even then, I suppose its worth would be subjective. I’m not comfortable with calling myself a creator due to the fact that I’m not really making anything new and calling myself a transformer sounds ridiculous but I suppose the idea I’m trying to get across is now understood?

How do I know that I am what I am? I’m sure there are several ways to do this. For one, I could look at my actions and see that I’ve created many things. Using the word “create” is simply for flow as we have mentioned before that I’m not really forming new material. I’ve created chainmail, breastplates, pauldrons, spaulders, greaves, helms, swords, gloves, gauntlets, stories, among other things that are all tangible and free for the world to use as they wish, should it wish to use them. I see a stark distinction between tangible and intangible and how they tend to be useful to the world as a whole or in part. Its really kind of frustrating how pointless many things in our lives really are. But that is a topic for another time I suppose.

Back to the original question of how do I know who I am, it would be quite easy to just say that I am a “creator” and be done with it. There is no one as aptly equipped to describe myself as me and no one with any true authority to challenge my description. Therefore, should I believe myself to be anything at all, within the realm of the mind and philosophical standing not physical attributes, I am whatever I say. It’s very empowering to be able to say, “I am an artist” and have no one be able to tell you otherwise.

It’s also possible to state things that others could dispute, such as “I am a rock”, but without any evidence to support your claim or severe lack of evidence to keep them from disagreeing, such things only start arguments. I believe everything to be subject to subjectivity so I have nothing against personal comments. For all I know, in your mind the word “rock” means “person” and you have every right to say that you are indeed a rock. It’s only when people attempt to describe other people that discrepancies have any real merit to arise. I may call myself a rock all I want but you, having no insight into my mind, have no right to call me a rock.

In any case, whether I am a person, student, son, brother, boyfriend, or rock I like to create things to make myself seem useful to the world and so label myself as a creator. I know this because there is no entity with the knowledge to tell me otherwise and I have physical proof to show for it.